Yes, I Do Matter...and...The Man With A Plan

So, this was somewhat of an eventful week for us. I have been anxiously awaiting the doctors appointment that I had on Wednesday. First, let me explain why. This was our second round of clomid while seeing Dr. Wilson. He also has me taking prometrium. I take prometrium for 14 days, and then if I'm not pregnant, my cycle will start. Here is where the anxiousness comes to play. I never started! So, of course, we got our hopes up. I took a pregnancy test, but it was negative. I called the doctor, and asked for a blood test because I had been dizzy and lightheaded a couple of times. So, the appointment was set up. I got there 15 minutes early simply because I liked to be early. When I checked in, the receptionist told me that the doctor had to leave for emergency surgery, and he would be back by 4:00. So...wait again! There were 7 people in front of me, so I had to wait for a LONG time! My appointment was at 3:30 and I left around 6:00. Anyways, the whole time I was there I felt like they didn't treat me like I was there for a pregnancy test. Everything just didn't seem right. He wanted to talk about what to do next, so that made me believe that no one really thought I was pregnant. He ordered blood work. So, I went to the lab. Everyone else in the clinic had already left. The lady who drew my blood couldn't find the needles, gloves, or tourneqet (not sure about spelling). By the time all this was over, all I wanted to do was burst into tears. So...wait some more. They told me the results would be in tomorrow, and they would call. Here is where "yes, I matter" comes from. They never called. I had to call them. The person who answered the phone (not even a nurse) told me that I was not pregnant. She then told me that the nurse would call me shortly. Did she? No. She finally got around to calling me the next day. I want everyone to know that even though I am not pregnant nor do I have any kids, that YES, I do matter! It also does not make me any less important.

Now...for the man with a plan! My doctor wants me to take clomid and all my other medicines again, however, this time I will be monitored. On day 13, I go in for an ultrasound and then a pregnyl shot (another fertility drug). We now have a plan! Hallelujah!

I keep trying to remind myself that I have to wait for His timing! And I hope that he has put this doctor in my path to help him work a miracle. I'm not the most patient person, and I like to be in control. This takes both of those things away from me. So, those were the events from my week.

Inspirational Story

A friend that I work with who has experienced the same type of emotional roller coaster that we have sent me an email the other day.  She sent a link to a truly amazing story that I thought was too inspirational not to share.
http://todayhealth.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/19/10191182-miracle-baby-born-from-single-frozen-sperm

Asking Questions Does Pay Off

So, we found out some good news this week. I called my doctor to ask if he still wanted me to continue my last month of medicine since I know it is not working. The nurse told me this is just part of his checklist to eliminate all possibilities. Then, we would reevaluate. So my question was, "What else can he do for us, or do we need to go to Nashville to a specialist?" So, here is the good part... The nurse said that they do different Meds, ultrasounds to monitor progress, injections, and IUI in the office!! This was great news for us since we were already thinking this was the route that we were going to take. Now, I just have to drive to Jackson instead of Nashville. My next appointment is in March, and hopefully the ball will start rolling then!

A Little Background

I consider myself somewhat of a medical oddity! At the age of 5, I was diagnosed with a rare kidney disease (which I can neither spell nor say correctly). So, I spent a good amount of time traveling back and forth to Memphis so that I could be studied at LeBonheur. At the age of 16 (after two years of VERY irregular cycles---basically nonexistant), my doctor discovered I had a tennis ball size cyst on an ovary. So, the pill was the natural prescription to solve this problem. I stayed on the pill up until 3 years ago when we decided we wanted to have a baby. Needless to say, things did not happen the way you would expect After a year of trying, my doctor (a new one from the one previously mentioned) decided to try out our first round of fertility medicine, Clomid. I don't know if you have ever been around anyone on these Meds or not, but you definitely don't want to be around me! Apparently, it has lots of hormones that I don't usually have running through my body.

Doctors will only give you 6 months of this medicine at a time because it is supposed to increase the risk of getting ovarian cancer. I didn't make it that far. After 3 rounds, I was monitored and my doctor discovered another large cyst. So, she wanted to do a laproscopy. The surgeon did not do all the tests that he was supposed to do because my ovaries looked unusual to him. He thought I had cancer,so I had to stop my other cycles of Meds. The test results came back and it was calcium deposits! Have you ever heard of such?? In the meantime, I went to an endocrinologist (because my doctor also thought I had thyroid problems). I was then told that I was pre diabetic and put on yet another medicine.

At the endocrinologist, a nurse mentioned a doctor in Jackson that specializes in infertility. So, I quickly made an appointment. He diagnosed me with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). He prescribed even more Meds, and I began another round of the max dosage of clomid.

Whew......I think I got it all in. I realize that I am extremely lucky because there are plenty of people going through much worse things than I am. However, I do consider this a horrible thing. I have wanted to be a mommy for a long time. It is extremely difficult when you look around and see so many people who have children and don't take care of them!

People always tell me that it will happen when it happens. NO, it will not! Not for me! If we are going to have a baby, we are going to have to have some medical intervention. I have to keep remembering that faith in God means faith in his timing. He will put the right doctor in my path who will know exactly what to do (hopefully I have found that doctor)!

Please keep us in your prayers. I guess that is enough venting for today. See you next week.